Subject: Activities » Exercise

I went to a gym; they offered me free membership for life if I posed for a 'don't let this happen to you' poster.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor

Exercise freaks… are the ones putting stress on the health care system.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host

Whenever I feel the need for exercise I go and lie down for half an hour until the feeling passes.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

I have to work out like a tri-athlete just to maintain chubby.


Most people are so lazy, they don't even exercise good judgement!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

I burned 60 calories… that should take care of the peanut I ate in 1962.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Exercise is a dirty word; every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

(1922  – 2000) American cartoonist (Peanuts)

The only exercise I get is walking behind the coffins of friends who took exercise.

(1932 – 2013) Irish stage & film actor

I'm not into working out; my philosophy: No pain, no pain.

comedian, writer, actor & producer

Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author

Jogging is for people who aren’t intelligent enough to watch television.

(1953 – ) British comedian, actress, singer & screenwriter

I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg… I thought: ‘This could be interesting.’


Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising… it was the only exercise I got.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

The word ‘aerobics’ came about when the gym instructors got together and said: if we’re going to charge $10 an hour, we can’t call it “jumping up and down.”

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

I like being married for two reasons: 1) I got really tired of dating, and 2) I got really tired of exercising.

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian

Pushing fifty is exercise enough

I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Exercise! … I never heard that he used any: he might, for aught I know, walk to the alehouse; but I believe he was always carried home again.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist

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