Subject: Activities » Exercise

The only exercise I get is walking behind the coffins of friends who took exercise.

(1932 – 2013) Irish stage & film actor

I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

I ran three miles today… finally I said, ‘Lady take your ‘purse.'

(1956 – ) American comedian

I often take exercise; why only yesterday I had breakfast in bed.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist

I burned 60 calories… that should take care of the peanut I ate in 1962.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

She is going to join the gym to lose some weights.

I am pushing sixty… that is enough exercise for me.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

I have to work out like a tri-athlete just to maintain chubby.


Jogging is for people who aren’t intelligent enough to watch television.

(1953 – ) British comedian, actress, singer & screenwriter

No matter what I do, I cannot lose this 18 pounds… I mean I have tried everything short of diet and exercise.

American stand-up comedian

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

At 19 miles, when most runners run out of steam and you hit what they call ‘the wall,’ is the exact moment you cross into the South Bronx; so here, they combine running and fleeing.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author

Most people are so lazy, they don't even exercise good judgement!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising… it was the only exercise I got.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Exercise is a dirty word; every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

(1922  – 2000) American cartoonist (Peanuts)

They say the best exercise takes place in the bedroom; I believe it, because that's where I get the most resistance.


Exercise freaks… are the ones putting stress on the health care system.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host

I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg… I thought: ‘This could be interesting.’


I concentrate on exercises from the waist down, since that is the laziest part of a woman's body.

(1934 – ) American actress, singer & author
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