Subject: Activities » Exercise

Exercise freaks… are the ones putting stress on the health care system.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host

Jogging is for people who aren’t intelligent enough to watch television.

(1953 – ) British comedian, actress, singer & screenwriter

Boxing is a great exercise… as long as you can yell 'cut' whenever you want to.

(1946 – ) American actor

I get my exercise from acting as a pallbearer to my friends who exercise.

(1834 – 1928) American attorney for Cornelius Vanderbilt

Exercise! … I never heard that he used any: he might, for aught I know, walk to the alehouse; but I believe he was always carried home again.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.

(1899 – 1977) university dean, president & chancellor

Exercise: The joy of flex.

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Thirty ways to shape up for summer — number one: eat less; number two: exercise more; number three… What was I talking about? … I’m so hungry right now.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor

Pushing fifty is exercise enough

I went to a gym; they offered me free membership for life if I posed for a 'don't let this happen to you' poster.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor

I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

The word ‘aerobics’ came about when the gym instructors got together and said: if we’re going to charge $10 an hour, we can’t call it “jumping up and down.”

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist

I ran three miles today… finally I said, ‘Lady take your ‘purse.'

(1956 – ) American comedian

The only exercise I get is walking behind the coffins of friends who took exercise.

(1932 – 2013) Irish stage & film actor

She is going to join the gym to lose some weights.

Whenever I feel the need for exercise I go and lie down for half an hour until the feeling passes.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

At 19 miles, when most runners run out of steam and you hit what they call ‘the wall,’ is the exact moment you cross into the South Bronx; so here, they combine running and fleeing.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author

They say the best exercise takes place in the bedroom; I believe it, because that's where I get the most resistance.