Subject: Activities » Games

All bridge hands are equally likely, but some are more equally likely than others.

How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

The score never interested me, only the game.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor

Please don’t ask me what the score is, I’m not even sure what the game is.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist

Here we have a game that combines the charm of a Pentagon briefing with the excitement of double – entry bookkeeping.

internet columnist

Life is like a game of poker: If you don’t put any in the pot, there won’t be any to take out.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian

Bridge is a friendly game invented by two married couples who disliked each other.

Sex is like a game of bridge… if you don't have a good partner, you need a good hand.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

A mediocre player will sink to the level of his or her opposition.

The game [of poker] exemplifies the worst aspects of capitalism that have made our country so great.

(1920 – 2000) American actor

Roulette: A wheel that seldom takes a turn for the bettor.

Look around the table; if you don’t see a sucker, get up, because you’re the sucker.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Childish Games: Those at which your wife beats you.

One night I was playing poker with tarot cards; I got a full house and four people died.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Life’s too short for chess.

(1834 - 1884) - American born British dramatist & actor

Sucker: Is this a game of chance?

Fields: Not the way I play it, no.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

I think Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
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