Subject: Activities » Games

Here we have a game that combines the charm of a Pentagon briefing with the excitement of double – entry bookkeeping.

internet columnist

Roulette: A wheel that seldom takes a turn for the bettor.

My roommate said to me, 'I'm gonna go shave and use the shower; does anyone need to use the bathroom?' … it's like some weird ass quiz where he reveals the answer first.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Please don’t ask me what the score is, I’m not even sure what the game is.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist

Checkers taught me that a King is a man with another man on top of him, but life taught me that that's actually called a Queen.

(1973 – ) American comedian

Bridge is the only game that bruises more shins than hockey.

The game of life is always called on account of darkness.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author

Life is a game, the object of which is to discover the object of the game.

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Life is like a game of poker: If you don’t put any in the pot, there won’t be any to take out.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

(1956 – ) American comedian

Life’s too short for chess.

(1834 - 1884) - American born British dramatist & actor

Sex is like a game of bridge… if you don't have a good partner, you need a good hand.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

I knew my parents hated me because my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

The most powerful force in the world is that of a disc straining to land under a car, just beyond reach.

Children are the most desirable opponents at Scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

When in doubt, take the trick.

I’d like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games; it’d be called ‘Really Busy Hospital.’

(1973 – ) American comedian
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