Subject: Activities » Games

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Games

[Poker] as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you could find outside an advertising agency.

(1888 – 1959) detective novelist & screenwriter
Activities Communication Games

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Activities Games

Have ever played Strip Trivial Pursuit? … what that is… is you, sitting on a chair with no clothes on, feeling fat, watching someone fully clothed beat you at Trivial Pursuit.

(1981 – ) English writer, stand-up comedian & actress
Activities Games

Snake eyes is a gambling term… and an animal term, too.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities Animals Games

Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Games

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Games Health

Bridge is the only game that bruises more shins than hockey.

Activities Games

Please don’t ask me what the score is, I’m not even sure what the game is.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Activities Games Life

Look around the table; if you don’t see a sucker, get up, because you’re the sucker.

Activities Games Murphy’s Laws

How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Games Situations

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Activities Beliefs Games

Here we have a game that combines the charm of a Pentagon briefing with the excitement of double-entry bookkeeping.

internet columnist
Activities Games

The boomarang is Australia’s chief export (and then import.)

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Games Places

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Games Money

Hot Potato is a very different game when the people playing are starving.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Food/Drink Games

Bridge is a friendly game invented by two married couples who disliked each other.

Activities Games

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Activities Characteristics Games

Life’s too short for chess.

(1834 - 1884) - American born British dramatist & actor
Activities Games Life Time

Life is a game, the object of which is to discover the object of the game.

Games Life Murphy’s Laws

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Activities Computers Games Sports Things