Subject: Activities » Shopping (Page 4)

The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping

You might be a redneck if… you've ever bought lingerie at a yard sale.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks Shopping

Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities Shopping

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.


Activities Emotions Happiness Money Shopping

The first time you go out after your wife’s birthday, you will see the gift you gave her marked down fifty percent.
Corollary: If she’s with you, she’ll assume you chose it because it was cheap.

Husbands Money Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives

You ever go shopping for a really cute, little, sexy black dress – and you come home with an extra-large pepperoni pizza?


Shopping Situations

She took my son to Costco, bought 14 pounds of Oreos – and saved us money somehow.

American stand-up comedian
Marriage Money Shopping Wives

Anything labeled "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" isn't.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping Things

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Old Shopping

At a bargain sale, the only suit or dress that you like best and that fits you is the one not in the sale.

Activities Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

I went to buy some condoms today, and I said to the pharmacist, 'Excuse me, I need some condoms;' and he said, 'Just a minute,' and I said, 'Oh, that's my brand.'

American comedian & actor
Sex Shopping Situations

Bargain Hunter: One who is often led astray by false profits.

Activities Definitions Shopping

If you need n items of anything, you will have n – 1 in stock.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping Things

The label "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" means the price went up.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping Things

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Money People Shopping Women

Once again, we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Beliefs Religion Shopping

A necessary item goes on sale only after you have purchased it at the regular price.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping Things

My first rule of consumerism is never to buy anything you can’t make your children carry.

American author
Activities Shopping

Bargain: A transaction in which each party thinks he has cheated the other.

Definitions Shopping