Subject: Activities » Sleep

There never was a child so lovely, but his mother was glad to get him asleep.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher

In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor

I have no sex appeal; if my husband didn’t toss and turn, we’d never have had the kid.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Some people talk in their sleep; lecturers talk while other people sleep.

(1913 – 1960) French-Algerian author, philosopher & journalist

The one who snores will fall asleep first.

Sometimes in the middle of the night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down… or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

A teacher is someone who talks in our sleep!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don’t have to hold things when I sleep.

(1973 – ) American comedian

Sleep… the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when he himself is up.

(1879 – 1949) Irish writer

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" and I said, "No, I made a few mistakes."

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.

(1959 – ) Australian writer & television producer

Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic

There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.

(1979 – ) American actress, comedian & writer

A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.

(1907 – 1973) poet & critic

If you can’t sleep, count sheep. Don’t count endangered animals. You will run out.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.

Insomnia: contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents.