Subject: Age

I’m like old wine; they don't bring me out very often, but I’m well preserved.

(1890 – 1995) American philanthropist & wife of Joseph P. Kennedy, Sr.

If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in; first, you get accused of things you never did, and later, credited for virtues you never had.

(1907 – 1989) American writer

20 to 40 is the fillet steak of life; after that it’s all short cuts.

(1922 – 1985) English poet & novelist

After forty a woman has to choose between losing her figure or her face; my advice is to keep your face, and stay sitting down.

(1901 – 2000) English author

I got my start in silent radio.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer

When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.

You know, you get that tattoo of barbed wire when you’re 18, but by the time you’re 80, it’s a picket fence.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

By the time a man can afford to lose a golf ball, he can't hit it that far.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist

Good taste is the worst vice ever invented.

(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet

Anyone can get old; all you have to do is live long enough.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, "Do you have any toy train schedules?"

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

What can you say when your husband says: “You can’t expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older.”

The older you get, the better you realize you were.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

Barney: I think of you as experienced. In an emergency, you would be the first one that I’d call.
Fish: You should call me first. I need time to put my teeth in.

(1921 – ) American actor

I am pushing sixty… that is enough exercise for me.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Kids… I like kids, but I couldn’t eat a whole one.

Oh, to be seventy again.

(1841 – 1929) French statesman, physician & journalist

Younger Generation: A group that is alike in many disrespects.

My secret to staying young… having no sense of time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

You still chase women, but only downhill.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor