Subject: Age

I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.

(1933 – 2006) politician

Age is a function of mind over matter; if you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

(1906 – 1982) baseball player

There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

Even when I was a kid, my imaginary friend would play with the kid across the street.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host

I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old… unfortunately there’s never one around.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer

At eighty-eight how do you feel when getting up in the morning? … Amazed!

(1881 – 1973) German economist

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea.

I am not young enough to know everything.

(1860 – 1937) Scottish author, dramatist (creator of Peter Pan)

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist

I am in the prime of senility.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn’t have to pay the extra fifty cents the adults had to pay.

(1947 – ) basketball player, coach & actor

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

I believe in loyalty… when a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.

(1919 – 1995) Hungarian-born American socialite & actress

The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it.

(1924 – ) American actress & singer

That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

When you become senile, you won't know it.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author

Youth: A good substitute for experience.

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
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