Subject: Age

Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.

(1802 – 1885) French writer

He's great to the old guys. He's got one trainer just to treat varicose veins.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor

It is better to waste one’s youth than to do nothing with it at all.

(1858 – 1929) French dramatist, novelist & satirist

Adolescents: People who never seem to realize that one day they will be as dumb as their parents.

At my age, an affair of the heart is a bypass.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Teenagers: People who express a burning drive to be different by dressing alike.

Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery

writer

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

It was tough growing up in Florida because all my friends were retired.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author

That dame is older than the Continental Shelf!

(1944 – ) American actor, director & producer

The older the fiddle, the sweeter the tune.

I didn’t see [Christy] Mathewson, but Oquendo said he had a good slider.

American baseball player

You know you’re getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don’t know anyone who can see through it.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Girls used to come up to me and say, “My sister loves you.” Now they say, “My mother loves you.”

baseball player

Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

That’s one you can tell your grandchildren about – tomorrow.

American baseball player

I've only got one wrinkle and I'm sitting on it.

(1875 – 1997) French, 120 year old woman

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
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