Subject: Age

In Los Angeles, by the time you’re 35, you’re older than most of the buildings.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director

Younger and younger, our children are seeing the sippy-cup as half empty.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor

I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger; my first thought was to rescue two more, but I don’t want to go through menopause again.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

[My mother] had something like ‘time out;' it was called ‘knock out.'

American comedian

Barney: I think of you as experienced. In an emergency, you would be the first one that I’d call.
Fish: You should call me first. I need time to put my teeth in.

(1921 – ) American actor

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.

(1959 – ) American comedian

She is so old… her dreams are in black and white.

Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and you choosing the one that’ll get you home earlier.

American comedian & juggler

You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

I told my doctor I wanna stop aging, he gave me a gun!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor

It is better to waste one’s youth than to do nothing with it at all.

(1858 – 1929) French dramatist, novelist & satirist

Whatever a parent does is wrong.

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter

There are no old people nowadays; they are either 'wonderful for their age' or dead.

author

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.

(427 BC – 347 BC) Greek author & philosopher

You don’t have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.

(1916 – 1986) American poet, translator & etymologist

A man has more character in his face at forty than at twenty… he has suffered longer.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they're cramming for their final exam.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

The older you get, the higher your underwear – get like rings on a tree; you're 80-90 years old – your breasts are inside them.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer