Subject: Age

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth; it is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

I am in the prime of senility.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for our to amuse them.

(1903 – 1966) English writer

Middle Age: That period when a man begins to shed his hair, his teeth, and his illusions.

She is so old… she was the waitress at the last supper.

I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

If you want to know what you’ll look like in ten years, look in the mirror after you’ve run a marathon.

American cardiologist & marathoner

Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist

You want to look younger… rent smaller children.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

When I was in high school, a “drive-by shooting” meant someone had their rear end hanging out a car window!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

There are younger Aztec ruins.

sportswriter & newspaper columnist

The comfort of turning 49 is the realization that you are now too old to die young.

I'd go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Getting old is when a narrow waist and a broad mind change places!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

You know you're getting old when kids start to dress like you used to.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author

At twenty, we don’t care what the world thinks of us; at thirty, we worry about what it’s thinking of us; at forty, we discover it isn’t thinking about us at all.

Pudge is so old, they didn’t have history class when he went to school.

professional baseball player & broadcaster

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

The Rainforest Site