Subject: Age

I’ve been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for our to amuse them.

(1903 – 1966) English writer

I didn’t see it [old age] coming — it hit me from the rear.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Being young is a fault that diminishes daily.

Adolescence is the time in life when a youngster is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.

I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

I like my buddies from west Texas; I liked them when I was young; I liked them then I was middle – age; I liked them before I was president; and I like them during president, and I like them after president.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president

She is so old… she's in God's year book.

Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

A very short one.

(1875 – 1997) French, 120 year old woman

When you are eight years old, nothing is any of your business.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist

I told my doctor I wanna stop aging, he gave me a gun!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

He’s 31 this year – last year he was 30.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator

Before borrowing from a friend, decide which you need most.

You know, you get that tattoo of barbed wire when you’re 18, but by the time you’re 80, it’s a picket fence.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

At my age flowers scare me.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

(1900 – 1993) American actress

There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good many friends who call me a fool.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

Say Satch, tell me, was Abraham Lincoln a crouch hitter?

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
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