Subject: Age

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous; when I was sixty-five, I still had pimples.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

After 60, it's just patch, patch, patch.

(1913 – 1990) American actress

He has become the oldest living cute boy in the world.

(1953 – ) American author, journalist & opinion columnist

I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good book… or a friend who’s read one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator

I'd like to grow very old as slowly as possible.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist

You’ll have to ask somebody older than me.

(1883 – 1983) American composer, lyricist & pianist

My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Adult: One who has ceased to grow vertically, but not horizontally.


Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist

Puberty is a phase… fifteen years of rejection is a lifestyle.

stand-up comedian

Robins: I've just written my 87th book.
Barbara Cartland: I've written 145.
Robins: Oh I see, one a year.

(1897 – 1985) British novelist

She’ll never admit it, but I believe it is Mama.

(1917 – ) Hungarian-born American actress

Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth; it is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

It is a sobering thought, that when Mozart was my age he had been dead for two years.

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist

The four stages of a man are infancy, childhood, adolescence and obsolescence.

(1912 – 2010) Canadian-born American radio & television personality & humorist

Kids… I like kids, but I couldn’t eat a whole one.

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.

He's great to the old guys. He's got one trainer just to treat varicose veins.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
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