Subject: Age

Adolescence is that time of life when you discover your ability to be depressed.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author

The trick is growing up without growing old.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

Women are as old as they feel and men are old when they lose their feelings.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

We thought it was a bad idea you guys got married, but we didn’t feel like we could say anything because it was open bar.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

(1906 – 1982) baseball player

I must admit he exhibits the most extraordinary capacity for middle age that I’ve ever encountered in a young man of twenty-four.

movie character, in Kind Hearts And Coronets (Dennis Price)

You know you’re getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don’t know anyone who can see through it.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.

(1959 – ) American comedian

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the National Debt.

(1929 – 1933) 31st U.S. president, humanitarian

The comfort of turning 49 is the realization that you are now too old to die young.

Your best friends are those who speak well of you behind your back.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist

The moment you're born you're done for.

1867 – 1931) English novelist

The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid; girls got pinned, not nailed.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you.

(1903 – 1974) English intellectual, literary critic & writer

After 60, it's just patch, patch, patch.

(1913 – 1990) American actress

I’m from Chicago, but I pay child support in Seattle; I’m just kidding – I don’t pay child support.

(1975 – ) American comedian, actor & writer

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was so poor I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Children are a great comfort in your old age… and they help you reach it faster too.

I'm in a restaurant one time, we go to the men's room – my grandfather was standing by the condom machine going, 'Hey, this gum has got no flavor.'

American comedian & actor

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.