Subject: Age

The only difference between friends and lovers is about four minutes.

writer, website creator

At eighty-eight how do you feel when getting up in the morning? … Amazed!

(1881 – 1973) German economist

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

(1923 – 1999) American satirical novelist, short story writer & playwright

I'm too young for Medicare and too old for broads to care.

(1911 – 1986) American actor

You know you are getting older when “Happy Hour” is a nap.

Most people my age are dead at the present time.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

I am pushing sixty… that is enough exercise for me.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Teenagers: Those old enough to know everything.

If you're 19 and you stay up all night, it's like a victory, like you've beat the night, but, if you're over 30, then that sun is like God's flashlight.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist

You might be a redneck if… an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I smoke 10 to 15 cigars a day, at my age I have to hold on to something.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older… little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman—stuff you pay good money for in later life.

(1956 – ) American comedian

Old age is no place for sissies.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater

Sixty years ago I knew everything; now I know nothing.

(1885 – 1981) American writer, historian & philosopher

Life not only begins at forty – it begins to show.

The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it.

(1924 – ) American actress & singer

My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

There are younger Aztec ruins.

sportswriter & newspaper columnist

When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed… it evens itself out.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
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