Subject: Age

Money can’t buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright

It’s a good thing to be old, because that means you haven’t died yet, right?

(1974 – ) Spanish actress & model

There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure.

Young people should be helped, sheltered, ignored, and clubbed if necessary.

(1909 – 1979) American cartoonist (Li'l Abner)

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director

I am in the prime of senility.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

I was born in 1962… and the room next to me was 1963.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Retire? … I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

(1956 – ) author & movie actress

I used to dread getting older because I thought I would not be able to do all the things I wanted to do, but now that I am older I find that I don't want to do them.

(1879 – 1964) British politician

Old age is ready to undertake tasks that youth shirked because they would take too long.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.

(1782 – 1871) French composer

Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain.

Before borrowing from a friend, decide which you need most.

One time a guy handed me a picture of himself, and he said, "Here's a picture of me when I was younger" … every picture of you is of when you were younger.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

What can you say when your husband says: “You can’t expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older.”

My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn’t have to pay the extra fifty cents the adults had to pay.

(1947 – ) basketball player, coach & actor

At my age, an affair of the heart is a bypass.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

The Hunger Site