Subject: Age

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Any child who chatters nonstop at home will adamantly refuse to utter a word when requested to demonstrate for an audience.

I’d like to grow very old as slowly as possible.

(1907 - 1990) American theatrical producer

There is still no cure for the common birthday.

(1921 – ) U.S. senator (Ohio) Marine Corps pilot & astronaut

She may very well pass for forty three… in the dusk with the light behind her.

(1836 – 1911) English dramatist, librettist, poet & illustrator

When you’re older than the manager and the general manger, that’s not a good sign.

American baseball player

Women are not forgiven for aging; Robert Redford's lines of distinction are my old-age wrinkles.

(1937 – ) American actress, writer, political activist, & fitness exponent

I was born in 1962… and the room next to me was 1963.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Pushing fifty is exercise enough


Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else… and usually is.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet

Larry King is so old, he's actually one of the Jews that killed Christ.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian

Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty… but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and you choosing the one that’ll get you home earlier.

American comedian & juggler

The older I grow the more I listen to people who don’t talk much.

There are no old people nowadays; they are either 'wonderful for their age' or dead.

author

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don’t think so… retired mermaids.

(1964 – ) English comedian

Old people love to give good advice; it compensates them for their inability to set a bad example.

(1613 – 1680) French writer

It’s good to be here… but at 98, it’s good to be anywhere.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

A sexagenarian? At his age? I think that’s disgusting!

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)

A woman is as young as her knees.

(1934 – ) British fashion designer

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older… little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman—stuff you pay good money for in later life.

(1956 – ) American comedian













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