Subject: Age » Old (Page 4)

Good hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even when you wish they were.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year, and I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Age is a function of mind over matter; if you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

(1906 – 1982) baseball player

She is so old… she's in God's year book.

I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Pudge is so old, they didn’t have history class when he went to school.

professional baseball player & broadcaster

By the time a man can afford to lose a golf ball, he can't hit it that far.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist

Sometimes I feel that I’m not just aging… I’m decomposing.

(1949 – ) American federal judge

Old people love to give good advice; it compensates them for their inability to set a bad example.

(1613 – 1680) French writer

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have remembrances of what never happened.

(1870 – 1916) British writer

Most people my age are dead at the present time.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

When people tell you how young you look, they are also telling you how old you are

(1904 – 1986) English-American actor

I don’t know why my elderly neighbor bothers subscribing to newspapers if he’s just going to let them pile up outside his house.

comedian

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

I've only got one wrinkle and I'm sitting on it.

(1875 – 1997) French, 120 year old woman

People with money live so damn long.

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don’t think so… retired mermaids.

(1964 – ) English comedian

When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed… it evens itself out.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

Jewelry takes people's minds off your wrinkles.

(1912 – 1969) Norwegian figure skater & actress