Subject: Age » Old (Page 5)

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve; middle age is when you're forced to.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Age Old Young

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Friends Intelligence Old People

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will sometimes produce bizarre behavior… and I’m not talking about the kids.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family Old Parents

He’s so old his social security number is two digits.

Age Insults Old

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor
Age Old Young

The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Children Family Mothers Old

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Old

Age: The time when everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

Age Definitions Old

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday; I tell them, a paternity suit.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Law Old

I’m at the age where I can’t take anything with a grain of salt.

American comedian
Age Old

Golden Years My Ass: Adventures in Geriatric Indignity

Age Book Titles Old

When you feel that you would like to go back to your youth, think of algebra.

Age Old Young

Old age is no place for sissies.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Age Characteristics Old

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.

(1931 – 2005) American actor
Age Men Old People

I've only got one wrinkle and I'm sitting on it.

(1875 – 1997) French, 120 year old woman
Age Appearance Body Old

Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Age Health Old Young

When you become senile, you won't know it.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Health Memory Old

She is such a good friend that she would throw all her acquaintances into the water for the pleasure of fishing them out again.

(1754 – 1838) French prime minister & diplomat
Friends Old People

I don’t know why my elderly neighbor bothers subscribing to newspapers if he’s just going to let them pile up outside his house.

comedian
Age Old

After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Age Old

I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don't have to.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Age Clothing Old