Subject: Age (Page 2)

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

What's the advantage of having a kid at 49?… you can both be in diapers at the same time?

stand-up comedian

Middle-age is the time of life, that a man first notices – in his wife.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for our to amuse them.

(1903 – 1966) English writer

I knew her before she was a virgin.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

You ever drive around with an old person who knows where everything didn't used to be?

American stand-up comedian

If something’s old and you’re trying to sell it, it’s obsolete; if you’re trying to buy it, it’s a collector’s item.

I must admit he exhibits the most extraordinary capacity for middle age that I’ve ever encountered in a young man of twenty-four.

movie character, in Kind Hearts And Coronets (Dennis Price)

To what do I attribute my longevity? … bad luck.

(1908 – 1999) English writer

When you've seen a nude infant doing a backward somersault you know why clothing exists.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director

Middle Age: When you no longer care where your wife wants to go – so long as you don’t have to go with her.

Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.

(1959 – ) American comedian

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist

You Are Old: Sobering Affirmations for Your Rapidly Disappearing Life

She’ll never admit it, but I believe it is Mama.

(1917 – ) Hungarian-born American actress

If you eat one apple a day for 80 years, you won't die young.

(1919 – ) American sportswriter

You want to look younger… rent smaller children.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

When I broke in, they didn’t have bats – we just grabbed the branch of a tree.

American baseball pitcher

He was either a man of about a hundred and fifty who was rather young for his years, or a man of about a hundred and ten who had been aged by trouble.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

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