Subject: Age (Page 2)

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

That dame is older than the Continental Shelf!

(1944 – ) American actor, director & producer

Puberty is a phase… fifteen years of rejection is a lifestyle.

stand-up comedian

She’ll never admit it, but I believe it is Mama.

(1917 – ) Hungarian-born American actress

If you want to know how old a woman is, ask her sister-in-law.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor

Children are a great comfort in your old age… and they help you reach it faster too.

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don’t think so… retired mermaids.

(1964 – ) English comedian

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can’t suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist

I have a lot of growing up to do; I realized that the other day inside my fort.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor

I’m at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me, I’m profoundly grateful to her.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Being young is not having any money; being young is not minding not having any money

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist

My friends and I played a new version of Russian roulette; we passed around six girls and one of them had VD.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Growing old’s like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed.

(1905 – 2000) English writer

If you live to be ninety in England and can still east a boiled egg they think you deserve the Nobel Prize.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was so poor I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

She is so old… she was the waitress at the last supper.

Golden Years My Ass: Adventures in Geriatric Indignity

People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist

Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty… but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
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