Subject: Age (Page 25)

Adolescents: People who never seem to realize that one day they will be as dumb as their parents.

[My mother] had something like ‘time out;' it was called ‘knock out.'

American comedian

She is so old… she used to baby-sit Jesus.

It’s wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn’t used to like.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

When people tell you how young you look, they are also telling you how old you are

(1904 – 1986) English-American actor

Sixty years ago I knew everything; now I know nothing.

(1885 – 1981) American writer, historian & philosopher

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

No one is so old as to think he cannot live one more year.

(106 BC – 43 BC) Roman philosopher, politician, lawyer, orator & political consul

Centenarian: A person who has lived to be one hundred years old. He never smoked or he smoked all his life. He used whiskey for eighty years or he never used it. He was a vegetarian or he wasn’t a vegetarian.

She is so old… she was the waitress at the last supper.

[Memorial services are the] cocktail parties of the geriatric set.

(1902 – 1983) English actor

I like my buddies from west Texas; I liked them when I was young; I liked them then I was middle – age; I liked them before I was president; and I like them during president, and I like them after president.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in it's holder is a thrill.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Life not only begins at forty – it begins to show.

Middle-age is the time of life, that a man first notices – in his wife.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

We were a generation born too late to eat goldfish and too early to flash.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist

I'd go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good book… or a friend who’s read one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

Fighting aging is like the War on Drugs… it’s expensive, does more harm than good, and has been proven to never end.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer