Subject: Age (Page 27)

I don't need you to remind me of my age; I have a bladder to do that for me.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Age Health Old

I used to dread getting older because I thought I would not be able to do all the things I wanted to do, but now that I am older I find that I don't want to do them.

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Activities Age Old

As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.

(1887 – 1948) American journalist & humorist
Age Communication Old

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Age Individuals People

I smoke 10 to 15 cigars a day, at my age I have to hold on to something.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Age Old

Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Friends Old People Problems Success

The number of women a man find attractive is truly proportionate to his age.

Age Men Murphy’s Laws People Women

My boyfriend and I are both in our late 20s; he’s 29, I’m 34.

(1980 – ) Australian comedian
Age People Self

One time a guy handed me a picture of himself, and he said, "Here's a picture of me when I was younger" … every picture of you is of when you were younger.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Age Young

I am pushing sixty… that is enough exercise for me.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Age Exercise

Age is a function of mind over matter; if you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

(1906 – 1982) baseball player
Age Beliefs Old

I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old… unfortunately there’s never one around.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Age Old

A three-year-old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Activities Age Animals Children Young

I was getting dressed and a peeping Tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body Old

You want to look younger… rent smaller children.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Children Young

I feel I can talk with more authority, especially when I say, ‘I don’t know.’

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Age Old

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for our to amuse them.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Friends Old People

Middle Age: When your age starts to show around your middle the art of raising eyebrows instead of the roof. 

Age Definitions

It was traumatic for me — not as traumatic as turning gay.

television executive & comedian
Age Old

May God defend me from my friends; I can defend myself from my enemies.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Friends God Old People

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Old