Subject: Age (Page 27)

There are only two things a child will share willingly – communicable diseases and his mother’s age.

(1903 – 1998) American pediatrician & author

No one becomes forty without incredulity and a sense of outrage.

(1886 – 1962) English writer

Sometimes I feel that I’m not just aging… I’m decomposing.

(1949 – ) American federal judge

If you're 19 and you stay up all night, it's like a victory, like you've beat the night, but, if you're over 30, then that sun is like God's flashlight.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist

Ask any woman her age, and nine times out of ten she’ll guess wrong.


One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

Middle Age: That period in life when your idea of getting ahead is staying even.

Old Age: When you wink at a girl and she says, “Something wrong with your eyes?”

There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good many friends who call me a fool.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

(1911 – 1989) television actress

My mother used to say: the older you get, the better you get… unless you’re a banana.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality

I’ll never make the mistake of being 70 again.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

Outside of a dog, a book is your best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
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