Subject: Age (Page 3)

Whatever happened to the good old days when kids was scared to death of their parents?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Age Children Family Fear Parents Past

[Memorial services are the] cocktail parties of the geriatric set.

(1902 – 1983) English actor
Age Death Entertainment

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Age Fools Intelligence Old Young

He may be the only kicker to kick and collect Social Security at the same time.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Age Football Old Sports

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Children Family Parents

A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Children Family Old

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age

When you are about 35 years old, something terrible always happens to music.

(1921 – 2009) British composer, pianist and radio & television presenter
Age Entertainment Music

I’ve been doing it [stealing from hotels] for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Old

Middle Age: That time of life when you'd rather not have a good time than recover from it. 

Age Definitions

Birthdays are nice to have, but too many of them will kill a person.

Age

I told my doctor I wanna stop aging, he gave me a gun!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Doctors Health Old Things

My grandmother died having sex… I still cry every time I watch the video.

(Uncle Lar) American comedian
Age Family Sex

Any child who chatters nonstop at home will adamantly refuse to utter a word when requested to demonstrate for an audience.

Children Communication Family Murphy’s Laws Old Speech

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Old

I can still enjoy sex at 74; I live at 75, so it's no distance.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Age Emotions Sex

I was born when my dad was 50; it’s weird growing up with a dad that much older than you… we’d go to the movies, we’re both getting discounts.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Age Family Fathers Old Young

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Old

He was young – He was fair – But the Injuns – Raised his hair

Conflict Epitaphs Hair Young

I’m from Chicago, but I pay child support in Seattle; I’m just kidding – I don’t pay child support.

(1975 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Age Children Family Marriage Places

We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Age Entertainment Health Music