Subject: Age (Page 3)

Regarding my family, I’m the youngest of three; my parents are both older.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good many friends who call me a fool.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain.

Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Well Kerry, you’re 19 and you’re a lot older than a lot of people younger than yourself.

English football player

Do not worry about avoiding temptation; as you grow older it will avoid you.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist

I can tell a woman’s age in half a minute — and I do!

(1836 – 1911) English dramatist, librettist, poet & illustrator

I don’t know why my elderly neighbor bothers subscribing to newspapers if he’s just going to let them pile up outside his house.


You know, you get that tattoo of barbed wire when you’re 18, but by the time you’re 80, it’s a picket fence.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older; what they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it much.

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

He's great to the old guys. He's got one trainer just to treat varicose veins.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor

You still chase women, but only downhill.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Middle Age: That period in life when your idea of getting ahead is staying even.

Old age is like learning a new profession; and not one of your own choosing.

(1907 – ) French-born American historian of ideas & culture

If you live to be ninety in England and can still east a boiled egg they think you deserve the Nobel Prize.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright

He may be the only kicker to kick and collect Social Security at the same time.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

I didn’t see it [old age] coming — it hit me from the rear.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

She has discovered the secret of perpetual middle age.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

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