Subject: Age (Page 5)

Middle age is when you stop criticizing the older generation and start criticizing the younger one.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer

You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old… unfortunately there’s never one around.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer

I am a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn’t have the heart to let him down.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president

The four stages of a man are infancy, childhood, adolescence and obsolescence.

(1912 – 2010) Canadian-born American radio & television personality & humorist

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer.

(1924 – 2009) English broadcaster, writer, politician & chef

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist

By the time a man finds greener pastures, he’s too old to climb the fence.

I was born when my dad was 50; it’s weird growing up with a dad that much older than you… we’d go to the movies and we’re both getting discounts.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian

It’s good to be here… but at 98, it’s good to be anywhere.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.

(1931 – 2005) American actor

The greatest problem about old age is the fear that it may go on too long.

(1906 – 1990) British historian

Kids… I like kids, but I couldn’t eat a whole one.

I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.

(1933 – 2006) politician

Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and started growing in the middle.

[Adulthood feels like] walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you as they bore you.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer

Teenagers: People who express a burning drive to be different by dressing alike.

There are only two things a child will share willingly – communicable diseases and his mother’s age.

(1903 – 1998) American pediatrician & author

We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot more information in our heads.

professional basketball player

My friend just got a trophy wife… must not have been first place.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
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