Subject: Age (Page 5)

I was born when my dad was 50; it’s weird growing up with a dad that much older than you… we’d go to the movies and we’re both getting discounts.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Age Family Fathers

As I get older I'm going to hear "You look great" a lot less than I'm going to hear "You look sick.”

American stand-up comedian
Age Appearance Health Old

I ask myself questions in those stores I don't ask myself anywhere else, like, 'Will I live long enough to use all those paper towels?'

American comedian & musician
Age Old Shopping

I have lost friends, some by death… others through sheer inability to cross the street.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Accidents Age Death Friends People

Do not worry about avoiding temptation; as you grow older it will avoid you.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Age Old

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Fat

My mother used to say: the older you get, the better you get… unless you’re a banana.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
Age Old TV/Movie Quotes

You know you’re getting older when you don’t care where your wife goes, just so you don’t have to go along

Age Marriage Old Wives

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Age Food/Drink Money Old

It’s wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn’t used to like.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Friends Misspokements People

Barney: I think of you as experienced. In an emergency, you would be the first one that I’d call.
Fish: You should call me first. I need time to put my teeth in.

(1921 – ) American actor
Age Old TV/Movie Quotes

The older I grow the more I listen to people who don’t talk much.

Age Communication Old

The thing about getting old is the number of things you think that you can’t say aloud because it would be too shocking.

(1919 – 2013) British writer, poet & playwright
Age Old Speech

That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Old

If you help a friend in need, he is sure to remember you… the next time he’s in need.

Friends Murphy’s Laws Old People

You want to look younger… rent smaller children.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Children Young

After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Age Old

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve; middle age is when you're forced to.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Age Old Young

I know Im getting old – I had an accident; I was arrested for hit and walk.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Old

I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Appearance Body Old

Age: The time when everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

Age Definitions Old