Subject: Age (Page 5)

I ask myself questions in those stores I don't ask myself anywhere else, like, 'Will I live long enough to use all those paper towels?'

American comedian & musician
Age Old Shopping

It’s a good thing to be old, because that means you haven’t died yet, right?

(1974 – ) Spanish actress & model
Age Old

I am just turning forty and taking my time about it.

(1893 – 1971) American film actor & producer
Age

I am in the prime of senility.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Age Memory Mind Old

At my age, an affair of the heart is a bypass.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Health Old Relationships

The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain.

Age Proverbs Women

To what do I attribute my longevity? … bad luck.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Age Old

Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Old Situations

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Fat Golf Sports

I have everything now I had twenty years ago – except now it’s lower.

(1911 – 1970) American burlesque entertainer, actress, author & playwright
Age Appearance Body Old Self

People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Age Health People

When you've seen a nude infant doing a backward somersault you know why clothing exists.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Age Appearance Clothing Young

I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Old

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Old Science/Weather

It’s wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn’t used to like.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Friends Misspokements People

There are no old people nowadays; they are either 'wonderful for their age' or dead.

author
Age Old

I’m getting pretty worried; my girlfriend hasn’t gotten her period… and she’s already 14.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Age Girlfriends People

Maybe a silver lining to growing old is being able to watch Usual Suspects for the first time… again.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Age Old

Old Age: When you wink at a girl and she says, “Something wrong with your eyes?”

Age Definitions

My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Body Doctors Old

A man has more character in his face at forty than at twenty… he has suffered longer.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Age Characteristics Men People