Subject: Age (Page 5)

There are five stages in the life of an actor: Who’s Mary Astor? … Get me Mary Astor… Get me a Mary Astor type… Get me a young Mary Astor… Who’s Mary Astor?

(1906 – 1987) American actress

I still feel 30, except when I try to run.

(1929 – ) American comedian & comic actor

Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

It’s good to be here… but at 98, it’s good to be anywhere.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Teenagers: People who express a burning drive to be different by dressing alike.

Have you ever tried to put an oyster in a slot machine?

(1922 – ) actor, film director, producer, writer & comedian

Adolescence: When a boy has reached the state when he knows why a strapless gown must be held up, but doesn’t understand how.

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

I didn’t see it [old age] coming — it hit me from the rear.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good many friends who call me a fool.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer.

(1924 – 2009) English broadcaster, writer, politician & chef

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

He's skating like he's 36 again.

Canadian hockey player

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.

You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

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