Subject: Age (Page 6)

Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

(1923 – 1999) American satirical novelist, short story writer & playwright

Yesterday: The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Middle Age: When you no longer care where your wife wants to go – so long as you don’t have to go with her.

Middle age is that perplexing time of life when we hear two voices calling us, one saying, "Why not?" and the other, "Why bother?"

(1917 –1986) American journalist

Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

I don't need drugs anymore, thank God; I can get the same effect just by standing up real fast.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor

The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist

Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted "Bingo!" counted as a yea or a nay.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

A three-year-old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in it's holder is a thrill.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

The years that a woman subtracts from her age are not lost… they are added to the ages of other women.


(1499 – 1566) French noblewoman & prominent courtier

Birthday: Anniversary of one’s birth, observed only by men and children.

I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.

(1956 – ) American comedian

Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions – because they know all the answers.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

singer & musician