Subject: Age » Young

When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving… he said it was elevator practice.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

I don’t want to lose weight; my tongue and my taste buds are the only friends I got.

American stand-up comedian

Being young is a fault that diminishes daily.

Younger and younger, our children are seeing the sippy-cup as half empty.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor

Even the youngest of us may be wrong sometimes.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

You want to look younger… rent smaller children.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Being young is not having any money; being young is not minding not having any money

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist

Youth: A good substitute for experience.

Until I was 13, I thought my name was ‘Shut Up.’

(1943 – ) American football player

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist

There are three ages of man: youth, middle age and “Gee, you look good.”

(1913 – 1997) American comedian & radio & television host

He was young – He was fair – But the Injuns – Raised his hair

When I was in high school, a “drive-by shooting” meant someone had their rear end hanging out a car window!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I'm a little kid; I'm gone 12, 13, 14 hours… I don't remember anybody coming looking for me… no Amber Alert goes off.

American comedian

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Adolescents: People who never seem to realize that one day they will be as dumb as their parents.

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year, and I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

I can do some things now that I couldn't do when I was 17, like date high school girls.

(1940 – ) American stand-up comedian
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