Subject: Age » Young (Page 2)

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the National Debt.

(1929 – 1933) 31st U.S. president, humanitarian
Age Government Money Young

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Activities Age Exercise Young

A young man is a theory, an old man is a fact.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Age Facts Old Young

You know your girlfriend is too young when she’ll do everything in bed but go upside down because it’s too scary.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Age Girlfriends Sex Young

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.

Age Intelligence Old Young

Youth: A good substitute for experience.

Age Definitions Young

When I was young I used to think that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Age Life Money Young

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was so poor I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Food/Drink Money Poverty Young

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Age Men Old People Young

Youth: The first fifty years of your life… the first twenty of anyone else’s.

Age Definitions Young

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.

(427 BC – 347 BC) Greek author & philosopher
Age Animals Young

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Children Family Speech Young

You want to look younger… rent smaller children.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Children Young

I can do some things now that I couldn't do when I was 17, like date high school girls.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian
Age Dating Girls People Relationships Young

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor
Age Old Young

Younger and younger, our children are seeing the sippy-cup as half empty.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Age Young

I don’t want to lose weight; my tongue and my taste buds are the only friends I got.

American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Fat Friends People Young

Youth: That brief period, as distinguished from childhood or middle age, when the sexes talk to each other at a party.

Age Definitions People Young

When I was in high school, a “drive-by shooting” meant someone had their rear end hanging out a car window!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities Age Young

When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving… he said it was elevator practice.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Family Things Young

I know we were buddies because he threatened to kill me on no fewer than three occasions, and he did that only to his friends.

(1935) British film director, producer & food critic
Conflict Friends People Young