Subject: Animals

A bee is never as busy as it seems; it’s just that it can’t buzz any slower.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

FREE TO GOOD HOME – Beautiful 6 mo. old male kitten — orange & caramel tabby, playful, friendly very affectionate, ideal for family w/ kids. OR Handsome 32 yr. old husband – personable, funny, good job, but doesn't like cats. Says he goes or cat goes. Call Jennifer 265-…. — come see both and decide which you'd like.

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director

Elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author

Interesting fact: a shark will only attack you if you’re wet.

(1963 – ) English comedian & actor

The more one gets to know of men, the more one values dogs.

(1803 – 1885) French writer & journalist

Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

I’m fond of pigs… dogs look up to us… cats look down on us… pigs treat us as equal.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.

(1932 – 1997) British journalist

The man who gets bit twice by the same dog is better adapted for that kind of business than any other.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

50 Ways to Eat Cock

All bachelors love dogs, and we would love children just as much if they could be taught to retrieve.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Any member introducing a dog into the Society’s premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat.

I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer

Cats… a standing rebuke to behavioural scientist.

I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day… I make sure it’s with an elderly person holding a baby.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & actor

If you want to cure your dog’s bad breath, just pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building… on the ledge.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

The Hunger Site