Subject: Animals » Cats

A child is a person who can’t understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

My sister wanted a cat for a pet… I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author

For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat.

I love Wagner, but the music I prefer is that of a cat hung up by its tail outside a window and trying to stick to the panes of glass with its claws.

(1821 – 1867) French poet, essayist & art critic

A man who was loved by 300 women singled me out to live with him… Why? … I was the only one without a cat.

(1952 – ) comedian

The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually beomes a cat.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

You've never seen a cat have sex… nobody has; the Discovery Channel hasn't caught that.

American comedian & television host

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you.

(1962 – ) American English professor & writer under pen name Eloisa James

Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

(1948 – ) English novelist

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

So, You’ve Got a Fat Pussy

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

A house without a dog or a cat is the house of a scoundrel.

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web…. Now even my cat has its own page.

An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five-year-old boy.

(1880 – 1964) American writer & photographer

To err is human; to purr, feline.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
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