Subject: Animals » Cats (Page 2)

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Animals Cats Characteristics People

Any member introducing a dog into the Society’s premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat.

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Animals Cats Dogs Murphy’s Laws

FREE TO GOOD HOME – Beautiful 6 mo. old male kitten — orange & caramel tabby, playful, friendly very affectionate, ideal for family w/ kids. OR Handsome 32 yr. old husband – personable, funny, good job, but doesn't like cats. Says he goes or cat goes. Call Jennifer 265-…. — come see both and decide which you'd like.

Animals Cats Classifieds Husbands Marriage

You've never seen a cat have sex… nobody has; the Discovery Channel hasn't caught that.

American comedian & television host
Animals Cats Sex

There are no seeing eye cats, of course, because the sole function of cats, in the Great Chain of Life, is to cause harm to human beings.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals Cats

My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.

(1964 – ) American comedian
Animals Cats Dogs

How long do cats live? Like assuming you don’t throw ‘em under a bus or something?

(1969 – ) American actress, film director & producer
Animals Cats TV/Movie Quotes

The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Animals Cats

A child is a person who can’t understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Animals Cats Children Family

The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually beomes a cat.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Animals Cats

Cats have nine lives… which makes them ideal for experimentation.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Animals Cats

When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web…. Now even my cat has its own page.

Animals Cats Science/Weather Time

Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Cats Characteristics

How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You

Book Titles Cats

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Animals Cats People Women

Nature abhors a vacuum… but not as much as cats do.

Animals Cats

I never married because there was no need: I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband – I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.

(1855 – 1924) English writer
Animals Cats Husbands Marriage

We’ve a cat called Ben Hur; we called it Ben till it had kittens.


Animals Cats

To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction – and a cat; the last ingredient is usually hardest to come by.


Animals Cats

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Cats People Self

When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as if the strings are still in the cat.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Animals Cats Entertainment Music