Subject: Animals » Cats (Page 3)

All dogs look up to you; all cats look down to you… only the pig looks at you as an equal.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as if the strings are still in the cat.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

How are you supposed to be able to tell when cat food has gone bad?

(1964 – ) American

You've never seen a cat have sex… nobody has; the Discovery Channel hasn't caught that.

American comedian & television host

A cat walking into a room containing twelve seated people will jump into the lap of the person who hates cats the most.

Any member introducing a dog into the Society’s premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster

My Big Book of Pretty Pussies

FREE TO GOOD HOME – Beautiful 6 mo. old male kitten — orange & caramel tabby, playful, friendly very affectionate, ideal for family w/ kids. OR Handsome 32 yr. old husband – personable, funny, good job, but doesn't like cats. Says he goes or cat goes. Call Jennifer 265-…. — come see both and decide which you'd like.

How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You

A child is a person who can’t understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

My sister wanted a cat for a pet… I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you.

(1962 – ) American English professor & writer under pen name Eloisa James

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author

Cat bathing is a martial art.

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist

I just gave my cat a bath; now how do I get all this fur off my tongue?

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician

No matter which side of door the cat or dog is on, it's the wrong side.

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look whether they’ve seen a moth or an ax murder.

(1959 – ) American comedian

Cat: A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist