Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
Animals
(Page 21)
Impeccable Birdfeeding: How to Discourage Scuffling, Hull-dropping, Seed-throwing, Unmentionable Nuisances and Vulgar Chatter at Your Birdfeeder
Bill Adler Jr.
Animals
Book Titles
Birdfeeders
Birds
My dog was my soul mate; we both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum.
Elayne Boosler
(1952 – ) comedian
Animals
Dogs
No matter which side of door the cat or dog is on, it's the wrong side.
Pet Principle
Animals
Cats
Dogs
Murphy’s Laws
Doors
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Rodney Dangerfield
(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals
Cats
People
Self
Sandbox
No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.
Christopher Morley
(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Animals
Communication
Dogs
Intelligence
Speech
Wisdom
Appreciation
Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you.
Mary Bly
(1962 – ) American English professor & writer under pen name Eloisa James
Animals
Cats
Dogs
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
‘Jo’ Brand
(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Animals
Food/Drink
It was so cold today that I saw a dog chasing a cat, and the dog was walking.
Mickey Rivers
professional baseball player
Animals
Cold
Science/Weather
My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet… Oh my god, that fucking thing would never shut up… but the bird was cool.
Anthony Jeselnik
(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Animals
Girlfriends
Parakeet
Even a dog knows the difference between being tripped-over and kicked.
Proverb
Animals
Dogs
Proverbs
Meanness
I've seen insects walking around with kneepads.
Dylan Moran
(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Animals
Exaggerations
Places
Insects
On Australia
Because he spills his seed on the ground.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Animals
On why she had named her canary ‘Onan’
You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.
Jim Samuels
(1948 – 1990) comedian
Animals
Children
Insults
Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P.J. O'Rourke
(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Animals
Appearance
Cats
Clothing
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
Emo Phillips
(1956 – ) American comedian
Activities
Animals
Sleep
Alone
Exterminator
I think what sets us apart from other animals is that we aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.
Jeff Stilson
(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian
Animals
People
Vacuum cleaners
Some dog I got too; we call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.
Rodney Dangerfield
(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals
Dogs
Pyramids
Last night he went on the paper four times… three of those times I was reading it.
Rodney Dangerfield
(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals
Dogs
When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
Nora Ephron
(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Animals
Children
Dogs
Family
Teenagers
You might be a redneck if… your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals
Dogs
Money
People
Rednecks
Things
Trucks
Ant: A small insect that, though always at work, still finds time to go to picnics.
Anonymous
Animals
Definitions
Ant
Page 21 of 22
« First
« Previous
18
19
20
21
22
Next »