Subject: Appearance » Body

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie;’ he said ‘God beat me to it.’

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

I’ve throwed away chicken bones with more meat on it than he’s got.

(1902 – 1973) American actress

Fat Ladies in Spaaaaace

He is so fat… when he gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

You are 32, you are rapidly approaching the age when your body, whether it embarrasses you or not, begins to embarrass other people.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright

She is so fat… she laid on the beach and people tried to push her back into the ocean.

He is so short… he poses for trophies.

Buster Douglas went to bed as a 231-pound world champion and woke up as a 270-pound parade float.

American sports columnist

Falsies: A hope chest.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

He looks like a bag of antlers.

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

I have a million dollar figure… buts it’s all loose change.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

He was so ugly… he hurt my feelings.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian

That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

I got a book for my birthday “How to make it big.” I had to take it back, it was about money

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

His favorite exercise is climbing tall people.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

The Literacy Site