Subject: Appearance » Body

Strip Teaser: One who makes a bare living.

I’ve throwed away chicken bones with more meat on it than he’s got.

(1902 – 1973) American actress

All these guys with six pack abs, and I'm the only one with a keg.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own.

(1910 – 1997) American writer

Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie;’ he said ‘God beat me to it.’

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

I know [my head] is big because every time I'm in a picture, it always looks like I'm really close to the camera.

Canadian comedian

All the men in my family are bald, and all the women are hunchbacked – and they don’t know we’re bald.


His nose is so big… he has to lift it to eat.

She is so fat… when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

He is so fat… when he gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

He should know better than that. He knows I only drink scotch.

Canadian professional hockey goalie

I’d wring your neck… if you had one.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

I would love to speak a foreign language but I can't; so I grew hair under my arms instead.

stand-up comedian

John Conteh has a neck like a stately home staircase.

English boxer

He's so fat his bathtub has stretch marks.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive

So short he has to stand on a box to kick a duck in the ass.

I'm just a person trapped in a woman's body.

(1952 – ) comedian

You know your girlfriend is getting fat when she can fit into your wife's clothes.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian

How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet

It's like I disprove evolution and intelligent design at once.

(1978 – ) American comic writer

Man that guy is ripped! I mean, I've got the washboard stomach, too. It's just that mine has about two months of laundry on top of it.

Canadian hockey player
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