Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 2)

I don't have a huge penis, but I had everything in my bedroom built to three-quarters scale so it looks bigger.

stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Appearance Body

I now consider it a good day when I don’t step on my boobs.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body Old

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body

She’s so big, it takes two men and a boy just to look at her.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

If you told her to haul butt, she would have to make two trips.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Appearance Body Fat Government Law

I suppose you know you have a wonderful body; I’d like to do it in clay.

(1925 – ) American singer & actress
Appearance Body

He is so fat… he had his own area code.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

A bikini is like a barbed-wire fence… it protects the property without obstructing the view.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Appearance Body Clothing

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Appearance Body Fat

When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Death People Self

Fat is lost last where it is wanted the least. Corollary 1: Fat is lost first from areas of high desirability.
Corollary 2: With time fat flows from areas of high to low desirability. – Hal Belknap, M.D.

Appearance Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

A bleeding heart can be hell on the carpeting.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Body Characteristics Situations Things

Now, it’s true I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she's been givin’ me lately.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Marriage Wives

A homely face and no figure have aided many women heavenward.

(1861 – 1950) American writer
Appearance Body People Women

I liked the choreography, but I didn't care for the costumes.

(1939 – ) American actor, dancer, singer, producer & choreographer
Appearance Basketball Body Clothing Sports

A little incompatibility is the spice of life, as long as he has income and she is pattable.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Appearance Body Money Situations Women

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it; I said, ‘Thyroid problems?’

(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance Body Clothing

You would think with all the money she saves on food she could buy a dress.

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body People

I not only get recognized – I get recognized from behind.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Appearance Body

I broke my arm trying to fold a bed… it wasn’t the kind that folds.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Body Things