Subject: Appearance » Fat

Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.

(1916 – 1997) newspaper journalist

He is so fat… his high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

He is so fat… when he gets his shoes shined he has to take the man's word for it.

The meal is not over when I'm full – the meal is over when I hate myself.

Louis Szekely (1967 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & director

She is so fat… her favorite meal is seconds.

Blubber Island

I thought to myself, join the army… it’s free; so I figured while I’m here I’ll lose a few pounds… I’m going to walk out of here a Lean, Mean, Fightin’ Machine!

(1950 – 1994) Canadian actor & comedian

If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist

He is so fat… when he gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

He is so fat… when he joined Overeaters Anonymous and they make him a chapter.

He's so fat his bathtub has stretch marks.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive

He is so fat… his blood type is Ragu.

If someone told him to haul ass he'd have to make six trips.

There's a new slimming course just out where they remove all your bones; not only do you weigh less, but you also look so much more relaxed.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

Do you travel as one person or do you get a party rate of ten?

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws… only catapults.

(1973 – ) American comedian

If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality

She is so fat… she laid on the beach and people tried to push her back into the ocean.

Outside every fat man there is an even fatter man trying to close in.

(1922 – 1995) English novelist & poet

Buster Douglas went to bed as a 231-pound world champion and woke up as a 270-pound parade float.

American sports columnist
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