Subject: Appearance » Fat

Fat: Energy gone to waist.

She is so fat… when you tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist

My girlfriend was so fat her clothes were made by Omar the tent maker.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had a dress with a sign on the back saying… Caution Wide Load.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Little things start to change in your life — like your socks start to get tight.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor

You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.


He is so fat… his high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

She is so fat… she laid on the beach and people tried to push her back into the ocean.

Some men climb mountains, others date ‘em!

(1944 – ) American actor, director & producer

Obesity is really widespread.

I’ve put on some weight recently; my wife says it’s just puppy fat, but I’ve been eating other things as well.


Lord, if I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

He is so fat… he has group insurance.

If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist

I’ve got a slight weight problem… I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression… along with a lot of pizzas!

(1950 – 1994) Canadian actor & comedian

You know you’re getting fat when your socks don’t fit.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor

Muscles come and go; flab lasts.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor

I would say the world's in terrible shape, but I'm afraid the world would say, 'Look who's talking!'

(1943 – 1974) American singer (Mamas & Papas)