Subject: Appearance » Fat (Page 3)

I tried cocaine to lose weight… it just made me eat faster.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor

It's a good thing Babe Ruth isn't still with the Yankees. If he was, George Steinbrenner would have him bat seventh and say he's overweight.

American baseball player

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

The meal is not over when I'm full – the meal is over when I hate myself.

Louis Szekely (1967 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & director

When it comes to eating, you can sometimes help yourself more by helping yourself less.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author

The most dangerous thing about American food?… the portions.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality

I have to work out like a tri-athlete just to maintain chubby.

comedian

Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer

He is so fat… in the summer he can sell shade.

It is my theory you can't get rid of fat… all you can do is move it around, like furniture.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist

If someone told him to haul ass he'd have to make six trips.

She’s so fat, she’s my two best friends.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

If you can’t tell the difference between a spoon and a ladle, then you’re fat.

(1973 – ) American comedian

She's so fat… when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

Lord, if I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws… only catapults.

(1973 – ) American comedian

It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.

(1943 – ) English rock singer

Little things start to change in your life — like your socks start to get tight.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor

You want to have a little fun, go to a fashion show and throw a cookie on stage and watch them.

(1961 – ) American actor & comedian