Subject: Appearance (Page 3)

Aunt Esther: Who you calling ugly, sucker?

Fred: I’m calling you ugly, I could push our face in some dough and make gorilla cookies.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly

She is a peacock in everything but beauty.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Body Insults

Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?

Jack: It’s after 6 o’clock Lemon. What am I, a farmer?

(1958 – ) American actor & producer
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

Square meals often make round people.

American entrepreneur & author
Appearance Body Cooking Fat Food/Drink

I angered the clerk in a clothing shop today; she asked me what size I was and I said actual, because I am not to scale.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing People Self

She’s so fat she wears stretch kaftans.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Clothing Fat

Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says ‘I don’t give a royal s**t.

(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host
Appearance

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Appearance Body Characteristics

I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I’m pale and I’m redheaded. I don't tan – I stroke!

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Body TV/Movie Quotes

I always take my wife morning tea in my pajamas, but is she grateful?… no, she says she'd rather have it in a cup.

(1926 – 1984) English comedian
Characteristics Clothing

The last thing you want to do is shoot 80 wearing tartan trousers.

English professional golfer
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body

A woman whose face looked as if it had been made of sugar and someone had licked it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Appearance Insults

Wig: A convertible top.

Appearance Definitions Hair

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat People Women

I thought to myself, join the army… it’s free; so I figured while I’m here I’ll lose a few pounds… I’m going to walk out of here a Lean, Mean, Fightin’ Machine!

(1950 – 1994) Canadian actor & comedian
Appearance Fat TV/Movie Quotes

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat People Women

He is so fat… his shadow weighs 12 pounds.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

I have good looking kids; thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Children Family Wives

Some men climb mountains, others date ‘em!

(1944 – ) American actor, director & producer
Appearance Fat TV/Movie Quotes

My friend got a personal trainer a year before his wedding; I thought: Bloody hell, how long’’s the aisle going to be.

comedian
Appearance Body