Subject: Beliefs » God

Jolson's ego was so big he could have given the Lord himself an inferiority complex.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

The missionaries go forth to Christianize the savages – as if the savages weren't dangerous enough already.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist

The stopwatch has stopped. It's up to God and the referee now. The referee is Pat Horan. God is God.

Irish Gaelic games commentator

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor

I wish God were alive to see this.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

To you, I’m an atheist; to God, I’m the Loyal Opposition.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on Me; and let there be lawyers so people don't blame everything on Satan.’

Canadian comedian & author

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind – a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

If only God would give me some clear sign! … like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

There are no atheists in foxholes.

(1828-1882) English poet, illustrator, painter & translator

God is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of those who shoot best.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist

The difference between God and the historians consists above all in the fact that God cannot alter the past.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist

If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.

(1920 – ) Hungarian writer

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

I take him shopping with me… I say, 'OK, Jesus, help me find a bargain.'

(1942 – 2007) American televangelist (was married to Jim Bakker)

War is God's way of teaching us geography.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Good God, how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth-decay in His divine system of creation?

(1923 – 1999) American satirical novelist, short story writer & playwright
The Animal Rescue Site