Subject: Beliefs » God

I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast… if God wants to play through, let him.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

When one guy sees an invisible man he’s a nut case; ten people see him it’s a cult; ten million people see him it’s a respected religion.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor

A man can no more diminish God’s glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word ‘darkness’ on the walls of his cell.

(1898 – 1963) Irish-born British novelist, literary critic & essayist

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

God is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of those who shoot best.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

When you come to Heritage USA, remember to bring your Bible and your VISA card—because the Bible is the Holy Truth, and God doesn't take American Express.

(1939 – ) American televangelist

Gray hair is God's graffiti.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor

If only God would give me some clear sign! … like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

If you want to know what God thinks of money, you only have to look at those to whom he gives it.

(1874 – 1945) English writer, translator & war correspondent

Go back to what our founders and our founding documents meant – they’re quite clear –- that we would create law based on the God of the Bible and the Ten Commandments.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author

God enters into each individual by a private door… and sometimes that can prove to be quite painful.

(1933 – ) American disc jockey & television host

If God were suddenly condemned to live the life which he has inflicted on men, he would kill himself.

(1824 – 1895) French writer

What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?

(1912 – 2003) newspaper columnist

An atheist is one who hopes the Lord will do nothing to disturb his disbelief.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

I take him shopping with me… I say, 'OK, Jesus, help me find a bargain.'

(1942 – 2007) American televangelist (was married to Jim Bakker)

In the beginning there was nothing and God said ‘Let there be light,’ and there was still nothing, but everybody could see it.

(1949 – ) Canadian comedian & actor

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
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