Subject: Beliefs » God (Page 3)

An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard only one side of the case; God has written all the books.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Beliefs Books God

What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?

(1912 – 2003) newspaper columnist
Beliefs God

If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Beliefs God

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Failure God Success

I hear [soccer player] Glenn Hoddle has found God; that must have been one hell of a pass.

(Robert Norman Davis) (1945 – ) British comedian & actor
Beliefs God

Fruit… it's just God showing off… “Look at all the colors I know!”

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs God

Do I believe in God? … Let’s say we have a working relationship.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Beliefs God

Pray, pray very much; but beware of telling god what you want.

Beliefs God Proverbs

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' – probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
God

If God wanted me to bend over, he’d have put diamonds on the floor.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities God

The Bible declares that on the sixth day God created man; right then and there, God should have demanded a damage deposit.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Beliefs God People

In the beginning there was nothing and God said ‘Let there be light,’ and there was still nothing, but everybody could see it.

(1949 – ) Canadian comedian & actor
Beliefs God

The good Lord never gives you more than you can handle… unless you die of something.

(1935 – ) American cartoonist
Beliefs Death God Life Problems

A skeptic is a person who would ask God for his ID card.


Characteristics God

In the beginning, there was nothing. And God said, 'Let there be Light.' And there was still nothing, but you could see it a bit better.

Beliefs God Situations

Good God, how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth-decay in His divine system of creation?

(1923 – 1999) American satirical novelist, short story writer & playwright
Beliefs God Health

Don’t they realize that if God took sports seriously he never would have created George Steinbrenner.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
God Sports

Cocaine is God's way of saying that you're making too much money.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
God Money

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Beliefs God

The stopwatch has stopped. It's up to God and the referee now. The referee is Pat Horan. God is God.

Irish Gaelic games commentator
God Sports

And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on Me; and let there be lawyers so people don't blame everything on Satan.’

Canadian comedian & author
Beliefs God Lawyers