Subject: Beliefs » God (Page 5)

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Emotions God Love Marriage

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Beliefs God Sex

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind – a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs God Places

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Beliefs God

In the beginning, there was nothing. And God said, 'Let there be Light.' And there was still nothing, but you could see it a bit better.

Beliefs God Situations

I take him shopping with me… I say, 'OK, Jesus, help me find a bargain.'

(1942 – 2007) American televangelist (was married to Jim Bakker)
Activities Beliefs God Shopping

Why should I talk to you?… I've just been talking to your boss.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Beliefs Communication Death God

If God Loves Me, Why Can’t I Get My Locker Open?

Beliefs Book Titles God

If God had intended us to go around naked, He would have made us that way.

Appearance Beliefs Clothing God

It’s hard to believe that if there is a God, he would want people to stand in the street and shout like maniacs. I think He would choose better qualified people.

(1980 – ) English comedian & novelist
Beliefs God People

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Body God Things

To you, I’m an atheist; to God, I’m the Loyal Opposition.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs God TV/Movie Quotes

If we were truly created by God, then why do we still occasionally bite the insides of our own mouths?

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Beliefs God Self

The good Lord never gives you more than you can handle… unless you die of something.

(1935 – ) American cartoonist
Beliefs Death God Life Problems

God always has another custard pie up His sleeve.

(1943 – 2010) English actress
Beliefs God Situations

God is silent; now if only man would shut up.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs God People

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Activities Beliefs God Travel

I used to get bummed out when it rained; then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Beliefs God People

Why's God always got such wacky shit to say?… when's the last time you heard somebody say, 'God told me to get a muffin and a cup of tea and cool out, man.'

American comedian & actor
Beliefs Communication God Speech

The Bible declares that on the sixth day God created man; right then and there, God should have demanded a damage deposit.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Beliefs God People

A skeptic is a person who would ask God for his ID card.


Characteristics God