Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Beliefs
(Page 4)
I would not want Jimmy Carter and his men in charge of snake control in Ireland.
Eugene McCarthy
(1916 – 2005) American politician & poet
Beliefs
Insults
Opinion
Jimmy Carter
Statistics are no substitute for common sense.
Bialac’s Conclusion
Beliefs
Facts
Richard Bialac
Statistics
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
Proverb
Beliefs
Proverbs
Depth
Water
I hear [soccer player] Glenn Hoddle has found God; that must have been one hell of a pass.
Jasper Carrott
(Robert Norman Davis) (1945 – ) British comedian & actor
Beliefs
God
Soccer player Glenn Hoddle
Absurdity: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Language
Opinion
Absurdity
When a man tells me he’s going to put all his cards on the table, I always look up his sleeve.
Leslie Hore-Belisha
(1893 – 1957) British politician
Beliefs
Honesty
Situations
Trust
My church accepts all denominations – fivers, tenners, twenties.
Dave Allen
(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Beliefs
Money
Church
Denominations
Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
Bill Maher
(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Beliefs
Health
Sin
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Intelligence
Proverbs
Understanding
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg?… Four; calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
Abraham Lincoln
(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Beliefs
Dogs
Honesty
Truth
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing… if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics
Honesty
Life
Truth
Faking
Nobody outside of a baby carriage or a judge’s chamber believes in an unprejudiced point of view.
Lillian Hellman
(1905 –1984) American playwright
Beliefs
Opinion
Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education.
Chuck Palahniuk
(1962 – ) writer & journalist
Education
Facts
Science/Weather
Game shows
The only thing that stops God sending a second Flood is that the first one was useless.
Nicolas Chamfort
(1741 – 1794) French writer
Beliefs
God
Floods
He is a modest little man who has a good deal to be modest about.
Winston Churchill
(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics
Insults
Opinion
About Clement Attlee
Modesty
It's interesting to speculate how it developed that in two of the most anti-feminist institutions, the church and the law court, the men are wearing the dresses.
Florynce Kennedy
(1916 – 2000) American lawyer & activist
Appearance
Clothing
Law
Religion
Women
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
Ashleigh Brilliant
(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Characteristics
Honesty
Corruption
Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
William Temple
(1881–1944) Archbishop of Canterbury
Beliefs
Religion
Church
If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.
Ashleigh Brilliant
(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Beliefs
Characteristics
Opinion
Just unfollowed the Pope for the second time in my life.
Neal Brennan
(1973 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actor, director & producer
Beliefs
Religion
Pope
social media
There's one way to find out if a man is honest – ask him… if he says, “Yes,” you know he is a crook.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics
Honesty
People
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