Subject: Beliefs (Page 4)

Frankly, I’m suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)

Science is Truth. Don't be misled by fact.

If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.

(1920 – ) Hungarian writer

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.

The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher the probability of its success.

There is one sure way of telling when politicians aren't telling the truth — their lips move.

(1946 – ) English actress

A pessimist sees only the dark side of the clouds, and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides, and shrugs; an optimist doesn't see the clouds at all – he's walking on them.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer

I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything anymore if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician

Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education.

(1962 – ) writer & journalist

The sound of tireless voices is the price we pay for the right to hear the music of our own opinions.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician

What do you call an honest Iranian businessman? … Asif.

(1965 – ) British-Iranian comedian, actor & writer

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president

1. The information you have is not what you want. 2. The information you want is not what you need. 3. The information you need is not what you can obtain. 4. The information you can obtain costs more than you want to pay.

1. Any great truth can – and eventually will – be expressed as a cliche.

2. Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.

USA Today has come out with a new survey; apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

The difference between reality and unreality is that reality has so little to recommend it.

(1924 – 1973) American comic

He’d steal flies from a blind spider.

Liars get caught by the tale.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold ‘em under long enough.

(1944 – ) American singer, songwriter, novelist, humorist, politician & columnist

A conservative doesn't want anything to happen for the first time; a liberal feels it should happen, but not now.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.