Subject: Beliefs (Page 5)

I will make a bargain with the Republicans; if they will stop telling lies about Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Characteristics Honesty Lies Politicians Politics Truth

I don’t always know what I’m talking about but I know I’m right.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Beliefs People Self

A bunch of money-grubbin', greenhouse-gassing, seal-clubbing, oil-drilling, Bible-thumping, missile-firing, right-to-life-ing, lethal-injecting hypocrites, whose idea of a good time is strapping a dead panda to a Lincoln Navigator and running over everybody in the gay parade.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Government People Politics

There is no question that there is an unseen world; the problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Places

I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Religion Situations

Never let the facts stand in the way of a good answer.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
Beliefs Facts

Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, & over these ideals they dispute & cannot unite — but they all worship money.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Money

Man makes plans . . . and God laughs.

(1963 – ) American writer
Beliefs God

Born-Again Virgin

Beliefs Book Titles Religion

Facts without theory are trivia. Theory without facts is bullshit.

Beliefs Facts Murphy’s Laws

Where facts are few, experts are many.

Beliefs Facts

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Beliefs Opinion

Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered when they die but they’re not getting up early on a Sunday.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Death Life

Secret: What we tell everybody to tell nobody.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies

Among the many remedies that won’t cure a cold, the most common is advice.

Beliefs Health

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Beliefs Religion Sex

We have a whole religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Beliefs Religion

I can prove anything with statistics except the truth.

(1770 – 1827) British statesman, politician & prime minister
Beliefs Honesty Truth

Never believe anything until it has been officially denied.

(1904 – 1981) British journalist
Beliefs

Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws