Subject: Beliefs » Religion (Page 2)

A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Children Family Parents Religion

Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.

(1713 – 1784) French philosopher, art critic & writer
Beliefs Government Religion

Just unfollowed the Pope for the second time in my life.

(1973 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actor, director & producer
Beliefs Religion

Atheist: A man who has no invisible means of support.

(1875 – 1940) Scottish novelist, historian & Governor General of Canada
Beliefs Definitions Religion

I like Jesus, but he loves me, so it's awkward.

Canadian comedian
Beliefs Religion

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? … If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t!

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Beliefs Religion Sex

Baptists never make love standing up; they're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing!

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Beliefs Dance Religion Sex

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Beliefs Characteristics Religion

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold ‘em under long enough.

(1944 – ) American singer, songwriter, novelist, humorist, politician & columnist
Beliefs Religion

Heaven: The Coney Island of the Christian imagination.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Beliefs Religion

I’m Catholic in the same way, that if a cow was born in a tree, it’s a bird!

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion

We haven't seen that kind of violence in the name of religion in this country since we got here!'

American stand-up comedian
America History Religion Time

Religion is just what we thought before we understood what mental illness was.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Beliefs Religion

Catholicism is the most adhesive religion in the world; if you joined the Taliban, you’d merely be regarded as a bad Catholic.

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Beliefs Religion

They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite,' and I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right; what's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Government Politics Religion

Let my people go!

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion

The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New York City.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs New York City Places Religion

The Catholics have an interesting view of sex; it is disgusting, amoral and filthy and you should save it for one you love.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian & filmmaker
Beliefs Religion Sex

I definitely want Brooklyn [his daughter] to be Christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.

professional football player
Beliefs Misspokements Religion

I'm looking for loopholes.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Beliefs Reading/Writing Religion

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Education Religion School