Subject: Characteristics

If it tastes good, you can't have it; if it tastes awful, you'd better clean your plate.

Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor

Conscience gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet.

We would all like a reputation for generosity and we'd all like to buy it cheap.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author

I’ve met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer

Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

Woman’s influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

When our friends get into power, they aren’t our friends any more.

A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

(1874 – 1963) American poet

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of someone who had searched for the leak in life’s gas pipe with a lighted candle.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Woman is the most powerful magnet in the universe, and all men are cheap metal… and they all know where 'North' is.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist

We had a lot in common; I loved him and he loved him.

(1920 – 2006) American actress

We have the Bill of Rights; what we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

A man has more character in his face at forty than at twenty… he has suffered longer.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Jealousy: The tribute mediocrity pays to genius.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Slander: To lie, or tell the truth about someone.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover’s Lane holding his own hand.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
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