Subject: Characteristics

I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor

They've great respect for the dead in Hollywood, but none for the living.

(1909 – 1959) Australian-born American actor

I think there is only one quality worse than hardness of heart and that is softness of head.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.

(1951 – ) U.S. senator (Minnesota), political commentator, comedian & writer

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

I can resist everything except temptation.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

When we got into office, the thing that surprised me most was to find that things were just as bad as we'd been saying they were.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president

There never was an impostor so hateful, a blockhead so stupid, a crank so variously and offensively daft… he makes me tired.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

In the battle of existence, talent is the punch; tact is the clever footwork.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

My friend Winnie is a procrastinator…. he didn’t get his birthmark until he was eight years old.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.

The older you get, the better you realize you were.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist

Virtue is just vice at rest.

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

The world makes you into a bitch, no matter how quietly you go, so you may as well go kicking and screaming.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it’s terribly inconvenient.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author

Men and nations will act rationally towards each other only after all other possibilities have been exhausted.

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

(1930 – 2017) American journalist & author













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