Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Characteristics
(Page 49)
Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.
Billy Wilder
(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Characteristics
Past
Situations
Time
Hindsight
Regret
The true measure of a man is what he would do if he knew he would never be caught.
William Thomson
(1824 – 1907) Irish mathematical physicist & engineer
Characteristics
People
An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.
George Mikes
(1912 – 1987) Hungarian-born British author
Characteristics
England
People
Places
Queues
A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
Robert Frost
(1874 – 1963) American poet
Characteristics
Conflict
Government
Politics
Arguments
Fairness
Liberals
Accountability: The mother of caution.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics
Definitions
Accountability
The worst vice of the fanatic is his sincerity.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics
Fanatic
Sincerity
A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
G.K. Chesterton
(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Books
Characteristics
Communication
Honesty
Reading/Writing
Truth
A thick skin is a gift from God.
Konrad Adenauer
(1876 – 1967) German statesman
Characteristics
God
Thick skin
Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
Scott Adams
(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Characteristics
Failure
Intelligence
Mistakes
People
Blame
Decisions
When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.
Flip Wilson
(1933 – 1998) comedian & actor
Characteristics
Success
I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.
Oscar Levant
(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics
Situations
Chaos
Frenzy
Duty is what one expects from others, it is not what one does oneself.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics
People
Duty
Purpose
All general statements are false.
The Ultimate Law
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
General statements
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
George Carlin
(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics
Conflict
Killing
People
Hostages
Multiple personalities
That which we call sin in others is experimentation for us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Beliefs
Characteristics
Experiments
Sin
Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent.
Jean Kerr
(1922 – 2003) author & playwright
Characteristics
Time
Feeling
Hope
Many people would be more truthful were it not for their uncontrollable desire to talk.
Edgar Watson Howe
(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Characteristics
Communication
Honesty
Speech
Truth
My mother could make anybody feel guilty – she used to get letters of apology from people she didn’t even know.
Joan Rivers
(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Characteristics
Family
Mothers
Guilt
A neurotic can perfectly well be a literary genius, but his greatest danger is always that he will not recognize when he is dull.
Louis Auchincloss
(1917 – 2010) American lawyer, novelist, historian & essayist
Characteristics
Communication
Reading/Writing
Neurotics
My last boyfriend gave me a piece of coal, and he told me that he would marry me when it turned into a diamond from all the pressure.
Wendy Liebman
(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics
Marriage
Diamonds
Pressure
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; this is the principal difference between dog and man.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals
Characteristics
Dogs
People
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