Subject: Church Bulletins

Church Bulletins:

Unintentionally humorous announcements, passages, blurbs or headlines that have appeared in various church bulletins or printed publications.

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

To make Martha's delicious cookies you start with one cup of male syrup.

There will be no HOPE at Trinity this week.

“I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, even though he diets, yet shall be live.”

The 'Over 60s Choir' will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.

Join us next week for the dedication of our new expanded facility. The new sanctuary has seating for 1,000 compared to 999 for our old building.

Continue to pray for Rita Slone, a blind member of our missionary team who got a new kidney from her father she hasn’t seen in years.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Wanted: Part-time, a Christian nanny to take care of our two-year-old who does not smoke or drink.

The lovers in the exhaust fan are not working.

A song fest was hell at the Methodist Church Wednesday.

Hymn Blooper: "All people that on earth do swell.”

Don't forget that elections for Head Deacon and Dead Deaconess will be held at next month's business meeting.

Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's used the program herself and has been growing like crazy!

Women on Missions (WOMS) will meet Thursday at noon. Childhood will be provided in the nursery.

The visiting monster today is Rev. Jack Bains.

On behalf of Barbara Rutledge and her family, our sincere thanks to all those sending cards and flowers and contributing to the death of her husband.

The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

Palm Sunday: Our regular service will be gin at 11:00 a.m.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

My joke is easy and my burden is light.

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