Subject: Church Bulletins

Church Bulletins:

Unintentionally humorous announcements, passages, blurbs or headlines that have appeared in various church bulletins or printed publications.

Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: "The Gates of Heaven." Below that was a small cardboard sign which read: "Please use other entrance."

The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Green who has Mrs Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

School starts Monday August 22.  Please watch for excited children as you’re driving.

You're invited to join us as Tommy and Angela renew their vowels next Saturday.

Tonight, Pastor will preach on "Diving Healing."

The lovers in the exhaust fan are not working.

In a show of near anonymity, the convention approved full communion with the Anglican Church of Canada.

God Is Good! Dr. Hargreaves is better!

Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

Women on Missions (WOMS) will meet Thursday at noon. Childhood will be provided in the nursery.

Mr. Bradford was elected and has accepted the office of head deacon. We could not get a better man.

If you want to be a superhero for God, you could wear a costume, or even nothing at all.

Pastor Young and his wife have had and several horse guests this week.

Child care provided with reservations.

Hymn: I Need Three Every Hour

Father is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

Stewardship Offertory: “Jesus Paid It All.”

Annual Church Stripper Tournament Next Sunday:  Sign Up Now.  The Best Team Wins!

Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.25. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.

There will be no HOPE at Trinity this week.

Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's used the program herself and has been growing like crazy!

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