Subject: Church Bulletins

Church Bulletins:

Unintentionally humorous announcements, passages, blurbs or headlines that have appeared in various church bulletins or printed publications.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M. – Prayer and medication to follow.

BASEBALL TICKETS – Everyone is invited to a tea honoring our graduating senior girls.

Several members of our youth department are collecting donations for Operation Graduation. Funds will be used for a drug and alcohol party following graduation on May 29th.

Marta Troutman will teach you how to put pizzas in your floral arrangements.

The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

Congratulations to Tim and Ronda on the birth of their daughter October 12 thru 17.

Games were enjoyed by the Young Marrieds Class at the home of John and Jane Doe.

Sunday we’ll have a special day to honor our youngsters for their schoolarship.

The 'Over 60s Choir' will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.

School starts Monday August 22.  Please watch for excited children as you’re driving.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

Church seeking preacher: Starts August 6. Send resume by June 1. Include wife, transcripts, and references.

Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peach to men.

Join us next week for the dedication of our new expanded facility. The new sanctuary has seating for 1,000 compared to 999 for our old building.

The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

The pastor has a 2001 Mustnag for sale.

Pastor says, ” Today’s sermon title is “The Seven Steps to Sex.”

Dr. Doe was the featured speaker for the Seniors Group. He noted that you can often avoid those usual winter colds if you avoid fatigue, loss of sleep and over-creating.