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Subject: Classifieds

Classifieds:

Usually unintentionally humorous classified ads, personal ads, notices or announcements as they appeared in various printed “Classified Ads” sections.

Lose All Your Weight, Only $49.

Ground beast: 99 cents lb.

HEY KIDS… Santa will be at Viking Liquor Sunday Nov. 26, 11 am–3 pm FREE PICTURES • VIKING LIQUOR • KIDS! Bring your pet!

For Sale: Black Tuxedo only worn once and now divorced.

FOR SALE: One pair hardly used dentures, only 2 teeth missing. $100 OBO. Call Ira…

If you have over forty eyes and have noticed how your vision has changed…

Classifieds Health Vision

COME TO WORK for Subway and have your dreams crushed like the rest of us. Weekends required. 941-…. after 2 pm.

Beautiful uncommon African follis dish, 550,00,000 yrs. old, $45.

This going-out-of-business sale is for a limited time only.

It Takes Many Ingredients to Make Burger King Great But… “The Secret Ingredient is our People”

FROZEN SOFT & GENTLE BATH TISSUE — 4 ROLLS 99 CENTS

PET DOOR; 8 ft. tall, never used, $80.00, 358-….

HELP WANTED – DoodyCalls Technician

Can’t move or speak? It may be a STROKE. No one is too young. Time lost is brain lost. CALL 911

All positions are open until filled.

BRAND NEW/NEVER USED Kenmore Gas Stove. Needs to be put back together after falling out of pickup at 70 MPH. Any offer accepted. Call Brian at…

’06 Frod Focus $9,999

Classifieds Used car ad

American Legion Auxilary Unit 3 – Oct. 9 4 p.m. Spaghetti Dinner With Salad, Bread, And Dessert $5.00 $5,50 Take Out – 2nd Thurs. Of Every Monday

Time management seminar. Washington County Library, St. George Branch… About six or sevenish.

Nordic track $300 – hardly used – call Chubby.

WANTED – Air Traffic Control. No Exp. Needed: we train, HS grads 17–34. Great pay, benefits. Must relocate. Call M-F…