Subject: Classifieds (Page 4)

BRAND NEW/NEVER USED Kenmore Gas Stove. Needs to be put back together after falling out of pickup at 70 MPH. Any offer accepted. Call Brian at…

FREE Rent in exchange for elderly woman. 319-233-….

Mother’s helper – peasant working conditions.

Righteous Kill – Pacino & Deniro play veteran cops on the trail of a cereal killer…

FOR SALE. Three canaries of undermined sex.

Soft & genital bath tissues or facial tissue 89 cents

Your stars for today: A pretty Cancerian, 35, will cook you a lovely meal, caress your hair softly, then squeeze every damn penny from your adulterous bank account before slashing the tires of your Beamer. Let that serve as a warning. Now then, risotto?

BELZ Factory Outlet Mall – Redeem this coupon at the Mall Office for a coupon

Bring a friend, and each of you can receive a facial for the price of one facial.

QUESTION OF THE DAY – Question: What constitutes a millionaire? • Answer: A millionaire is someone who has $1 million, according to Jerry Beto, branch manager and senior vice president of investments at AG Edwards and Sons.

Pennzoil/Quaker State OIL CHANGE – $12 plus oil & filter

Friday, March 27 – Lenten Fish Dinner – St. Ann Parrish – Tickets can be purchased at the door or by calling Christ at 522 -….

MATH-A-THON – Its As Easy As A-B-C…

BOX OF Twinkies, 10 years old, two missing, rest have cream filling sucked out, $5. Call 217-….

WANTED: 30 Chinamen and a zeppelin for elaborate practical joke. Can you help? Please call…

Save on Manor Hall Interior Latex – Semi-Gross – $26.90…

I've divorced better men than you. And worn more expensive shoes than these. So don't think placing this ad is the biggest comedown I've ever had to make. Sensitive F, 34.

John Deere self propelled 22” lawn mower. “As new”. Bought for wife. Bad idea. Top of the line. Elec. Start, bagger etc. Paid nearly $600.00. Will sell for $400.00 for best…

Bald, fat, short, and ugly male, 53, seeks short-sighted woman with tremendous sexual appetite.

Beautiful uncommon African follis dish, 550,00,000 yrs. old, $45.

’06 Frod Focus $9,999