Subject: Colemanballs


A term coined by British magazine “Private Eye,” to describe verbal gaffes, errors or misuse of words and phrases spoken by British football (soccer) announcers, coaches or players – initially BBC broadcaster David Coleman and the suffix -balls, as in “to balls up” or make a mistake.

He knows all about the Italian opposition, playing now in Turkey.

English television football commentator

If that ball had crossed the line, it would have been a goal.

Argentine football player

Peter Weir has just shrugged off an ankle injury.

Scottish football player

Stronsay is an island surrounded by sea.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator

The fact that Burnley got beat here already will stick in their claw.

English football player & announcer

Northern Ireland were in white, which was quite appropriate because three inches of snow had to be cleared from the pitch before kick off.

English television football commentator

Halifax against Spurs, the original David against Goliath confrontation.

British sports commentator

Queens Park against Forfar, you can't get more romantic than that.

Scottish football player

He’s not going to adhere himself to the fans.

English football player & manager

Many clubs have a question mark in the shape of an axe-head hanging over them.

The atmosphere here is thick and fast.

English football player & commentator

Howard Kahn, a lecturer at Edinburgh’s Heriot Watt University, has studied the matter intently and says he’s figured out why Scottish soccer teams can’t seem to win World Cup and other competitions; they’re not good players.

Even if you tap it in from one yard it counts in the record books as a goal, unlike the chances you miss.

professional football player, coach & executive

Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I’m sure today’s won’t be any different.

English football player & analyst

He’s a two-legged tripod, if you know what I mean.

British football commentator

If you take away their five goals, there was nothing between the teams.

English football player

Argentina won’t be at Euro 2000 because they’re from South America..

English football player & manager

The last player to score a hat trick in a cup final was Stan Mortenson. He even had a final named after him, the Matthews final.

English football coach

Wayne Rooney really has a man’s body on a teenager’s head.

Irish football player

Rutherford’s asking the umpire how many balls he’s got left… he’s got two.

New Zealand-born sports broadcaster

The man [Alex Ferguson] is United; cut him and he will bleed red.

Scottish football player & broadcaster