Subject: Communication

Journalism is literature in a hurry.

(1822 – 1888) English writer

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet

Youth is stranger than fiction.


If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that’s read by persons who move their lips when reading.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author

When a person says that, in the interest of saving time, he will summarize his prepared statement, he will talk only three times as long as if he had read the statement in the first place.

I don’t think I got the job at Microsoft™… they didn’t respond to my telegram.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

(1924 – 1992) English comedian & actor

If Lincoln were alive today, he’d roll over in his grave.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president

Alimony is the curse of the writing classes.

(1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright

Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.

(1885 – 1962) Danish physicist

Don’t bother discussing sex with small children… they rarely have anything to add.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

Definition of a classic: a book everyone is assumed to have read and often thinks they have.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright

I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

Hello!… we heard you at the door, but just thought you were part of the bad weather.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist

I used to be a plastic surgeon, which raised a few eyebrows.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

The problem in the world today is communication… too much communication.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

I have never found, in a long experience of politics, that criticism is ever inhibited by ignorance.

(1894 – 1986) British prime minister

My job is to talk to you, and your job is to listen; if you finish first, please let me know.

(1885 –1974) American cartoonist, humor writer & radio personality

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