Subject: Communication

If you found yourself in a situation where you could either save a drowning man, or you could take a Pulitzer prize winning photograph of him drowning, what shutter speed and setting would you use?

(1918 – 2009) radio broadcaster

Nothing conduces to brevity like a caving in of the knees.

(1809 – 1894) physician, professor, lecturer & author

No speech can be entirely bad if it is short enough.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist

The reason why so few good books are written is that so few people who can write know anything.

(1826 – 1877) English economist & journalist

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Interpreter: A ventriloquist using two dummies.

People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news.

(1904 – 1963) American journalist

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright

Is "tired old cliche" one?


Pushing fifty is exercise enough


In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Memos to Shitty People

The thing about getting old is the number of things you think that you can’t say aloud because it would be too shocking.

(1919 – 2013) British writer, poet & playwright

Studying literature at Harvard is like learning about women at the Mayo Clinic.

(1941) American writer & humorist

When I was born, I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)

A neurotic can perfectly well be a literary genius, but his greatest danger is always that he will not recognize when he is dull.

(1917 – 2010) American lawyer, novelist, historian & essayist

The closest library doesn't have the material you need.

Propaganda: Baloney disguised as food for thought.

I found nothing really wrong with this autobiography except poor choice of subject.

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host

Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Kids say the darndest things.

(1912 – 2010) Canadian-born American radio & television personality & humorist
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