Subject: Communication » Books

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter; some day I intend reading it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Books Reviews/Criticism

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Books Communication Death Reading/Writing

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Books Children Reading/Writing

The first page sells that book; the last page sells your next book.

(1918 – 2006) American writer
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Never read any book in which the author’s name appears in gold or silver on the cover.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.

(1910 – 1991) American art historian, photographer, author & editor
Books Communication Reading/Writing

No books are lost by loaning except those you particularly wanted to keep.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Books Communication Health Reading/Writing

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Books Hair

Writing a book of poetry is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Books Communication

A bit of advice: never read a pop-up book about giraffes.

(1963 – ) English comedian & actor
Animals Books Communication

The sumptuousnss of a company's annual report is in inverse proportion to its profitability that year.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Those big-shot writers could never dig the fact that there are more salted peanuts consumed than caviar.

(1918 – 2006) American writer
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Cookbooks bear the same relation to real books that microwave food bears to your grandmother’s.

(1946 – ) Romanian-born American poet, novelist, essayist & commentator
Books Communication Food/Drink

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Neither am I.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Books Communication Insults

I have only ever read one book in my life, and that is White Fang; it’s so frightfully good I’ve never bothered to read another.

(1904 – 1973) English novelist & biographer
Books Communication

There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best parts.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
Books Communication Reviews/Criticism

Siamese twins are interesting because they are the only people who can write a biography and an autobiography at the same time.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Books Communication People Reading/Writing

The book or periodical most vital to the completion of your term paper will be missing from the library.

Corollary: If it is available, the most important page will be torn out.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing School

Whenever I see an autobiography for sale in the book store I just flip to the about the author section… I’m like, “Done, next!”

(1973 – ) American comedian
Books Communication Reading/Writing