Subject: Communication » Books

I took a speed reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

If my books had been any worse, I should not have been invited to Hollywood, and if they had been any better, I should not have come.

(1888 – 1959) detective novelist & screenwriter

Anyone who believes you can't change history has never tried to write his memoirs.

(1886 – 1973) Israeli prime minister

The book or periodical most vital to the completion of your term paper will be missing from the library.

Corollary: If it is available, the most important page will be torn out.

Having to read a footnote resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Research is reading two books that have never been read in order to write a third that will never be read.

The great American novel has not only already been written, it has already been rejected.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor

Americans like fat books and thin women.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist

No books are lost by loaning except those you particularly wanted to keep.

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales.

(1942 – ) English physicist

No one ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have tried while trying to write one.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator

Foreword: An author’s apology.

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels; I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer

If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director

You won't find a single four-letter word in there… I don't go for that bullshit.

(1918 – ) American baseball pitcher

A bit of advice: never read a pop-up book about giraffes.

(1963 – ) English comedian & actor

Books are no more threatened by Kindle than stairs by elevators.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director

The man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

What kind of tattoo would a librarian get?… ‘Books kick ass’?

American comedian

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