Subject: Communication » Language (Page 4)

University: A modern school where football is taught.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Four-letter Word: Par for the coarse.

Censor: A man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic

Oppose: To assist with obstructions and objections.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

You say ‘erbs, and we say Herbs… because there’s a f**king ‘H’ in it!

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

He has a splendid repertoire of 500 words; why does he insist on using only 150?

(1915 – 2002) Israeli diplomat & politician

Synonym: A word you use when you can’t spell the other word.

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

(1928 - ) American pianist, writer, composer & music producer

When the Iraq war started … little did George Bush know.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor

Eloquence: The art of saying the proper thing and stopping.

(1613 – 1680) French writer

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host

1. Never use one word when a dozen will suffice.
2. If it can be understood, it's not finished yet.
3. Never be the first to do anything.

First triple I ever had.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player

1. All's well that ends.
2. A penny saved is a penny.
3. Don't leave things unfinishe

Oh good, now he’ll be bi-ignorant.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author

In letters themes reports articles and stuff like that we use commas to keep strings apart.

Carlyle said, “A lie cannot live;” it shows he did not know how to tell them.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist