Subject: Communication » Language (Page 5)

Like I always say, there's no 'I' in "team;" there is a 'me', though, if you jumble it up."

(1959 – ) Canadian-born writer & television producer

Ways to Relieve Stress #10: Make up a language and ask people for directions.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

In my opinion I think that the author when he is writing should not get into the habit of making use of too many unnecessary words which he does not really need.

Whoever put the letter ‘b’ in the word ‘subtle’ deserves a pat on the back.

Monument: A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Arrivaducci, von boyage.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Is "tired old cliche" one?


Definition: A statement intended to put a word in its place.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Oral contraceptive: The word "no."

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Congratulation: The civility of envy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Italian Without Words

What's right is what's left when everything is wrong.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

I love going on blind dates because you can stare at their tits. … Some of you are now thinking — “Hey you can’t make fun of the blind…” Watch me.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail; I wouldn’t want to be the tea party’s go-to comedian.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together; it was riveting.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

To see him fumbling with our rich and delicate English is like seeing a Sevres vase in the hands of a chimpanzee.

(1903 – 1966) English writer