Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Communication
(Page 2)
Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.
Elbert Hubbard
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Communication
Occupations
Reading/Writing
Editors
I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.
Ken Cheng
British born Chinese professional poker player & comedian
Communication
Wordplay
Spilt Milk: Udder waste.
Anonymous
Definitions
Food/Drink
Wordplay
Spilt Milk
The splendor of an editor's speech and the splendor of his newspaper are inversely related to the distance between the city in which he makes his speech and the city in which he publishes his paper.
Bagdikian's Law of Editor's Speeches
Communication
Murphy’s Laws
Places
Reading/Writing
Speech
Distance
A classic is a book which people praise, but no one reads.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Books
Communication
Reading/Writing
Classic
No one
Praise
I talk to myself a lot; that bothers some people because I use a megaphone.
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication
Talking
Alarm Clock: Something that makes people rise and whine.
Anonymous
Definitions
Wordplay
Alarm clock
Throwing acid is wrong… in some people’s eyes.
Jimmy Carr
(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication
Language
He uses a lot of big words, and his sentences are from here to the airport.
Carolyn Chute
(1947 – ) American writer & populist political activist
Reading/Writing
Reviews/Criticism
About William Faulkner
I have only ever read one book in my life, and that is
White Fang
; it’s so frightfully good I’ve never bothered to read another.
Nancy Mitford
(1904 – 1973) English novelist & biographer
Books
Communication
"White Fang"
Cat: A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals
Cats
Communication
Definitions
Language
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
Jerry Seinfeld
(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication
Failure
Success
Wordplay
Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one’s country.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Language
Lies
Country
Diplomacy
No name, no matter how simple, can be correctly understood over the phone.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Communication
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Telephone
A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any news in it or not.
Henry Fielding
(1707 – 1754) English dramatist & novelist
Communication
Reading/Writing
News
Newspapers
Pages
If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?
Rod Schmidt
Communication
Language
Things
Fan
Wave
Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.
Anonymous
Definitions
Wordplay
Urinal
Profanity: The father tongue.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Language
Speech
Profanity
If I know the answer I’ll tell you the answer, and if I don’t, I’ll just respond, cleverly.
Donald Rumsfeld
(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense
Communication
You ever read a book that changed your life? … me neither.
Jim Gaffigan
(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Books
Communication
That woman, got a mouth like an outboard motor.
Foghorn Leghorn
cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Speech
TV/Movie Quotes
Page 2 of 86
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