Subject: Communication (Page 2)

Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.

British born Chinese professional poker player & comedian

Spilt Milk: Udder waste.

The splendor of an editor's speech and the splendor of his newspaper are inversely related to the distance between the city in which he makes his speech and the city in which he publishes his paper.

A classic is a book which people praise, but no one reads.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

I talk to myself a lot; that bothers some people because I use a megaphone.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Alarm Clock: Something that makes people rise and whine.

Throwing acid is wrong… in some people’s eyes.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor

He uses a lot of big words, and his sentences are from here to the airport.

(1947 – ) American writer & populist political activist

I have only ever read one book in my life, and that is White Fang; it’s so frightfully good I’ve never bothered to read another.

(1904 – 1973) English novelist & biographer

Cat: A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one’s country.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

No name, no matter how simple, can be correctly understood over the phone.

A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any news in it or not.

(1707 – 1754) English dramatist & novelist

If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?


Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

Profanity: The father tongue.

If I know the answer I’ll tell you the answer, and if I don’t, I’ll just respond, cleverly.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense

You ever read a book that changed your life? … me neither.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

That woman, got a mouth like an outboard motor.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)