Subject: Communication (Page 4)

If there is a wrong thing to say, one will.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Communication Death

My girlfriend’s dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one: She was livid… “What am I going to do with two dead dogs?”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Animals Dogs Wordplay

Farmer: A man who is outstanding in his field.

Definitions Wordplay

You have to wonder what kind of chemical reactions were taking place inside Walker’s head when he said these things.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Speech Sports

None but the dead have free speech.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Speech

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Baseball Language Music

Oral contraceptive: The word "no."

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Communication Language Sex

My fellow astronauts…

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Speech

Reading isn’t an occupation we encourage among police officers; we try to keep the paperwork down to a minimum.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright
Communication Reading/Writing

Invitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

writer
Communication Wordplay

Interviewer: You’ve been accused of vulgarity.
Brooks: Bullshit!

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Communication Language

If [the weather] didn’t change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn’t start a conversation.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Communication Conversation People Science/Weather Speech

Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

Also-ran: A British athlete.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer
England Places Wordplay

Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.

(1887 – 1964) British actor, writer & theater director
Communication Language Speech

At school the other kids used to push me around and call me lazy; I loved that wheelchair.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

If that kid don't stop talkin' so much he'll get his tongue sunburned.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Speech TV/Movie Quotes

My goal in life is to open up a nail salon in Vietnam, where all my workers speak nothing but English.

American-Mexican stand-up comedian & actress
Communication Language Places

Geologist: Fault finder.

Definitions Wordplay

I have been called too vague by you know who… but you know the old saying…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language